As if August wasn’t busy enough! In addition to all the list-making, supply- and clothes-shopping, and whining-listening, it’s time for parents and kids to prepare for some major transitions.

Try addressing these four issues with your child’s or teen’s help.

The Problem: Getting up!

If we planned school to best suit the sleep needs of tweens and teens, 6^th -12^th grade would begin at noon. But we don’t, so start a couple of weeks before school if possible.

What You Can Do: 

1. Go back to school year curfews. What time you can (not want to) get up is connected to what time you fall asleep, at least somewhat. Most children need 8-10 hours of sleep per night, teens need 7-9.
2. Push wake up time an hour earlier than it has been during the summer, then an hour earlier. Do this until you are at least in the neighborhood of school wake up time.
3. Use that early(ish) morning time to get done some things your child actually wants to do – this will make motivating them out of bed easier. Go back to eating breakfast!
4. Make a plan this year for wake-ups. You should not be the human alarm clock. Be clear with your child about what you are and are not willing to do to help them get up in the morning (remember, you want them to make their morning college classes someday without your help), and what the consequences will be if they don’t get up.

The Problem: Homework

The top reason most kids (and parents) dread the return to school.

What You Can Do:

1. Plan ahead. Often the curriculum for middle and high school classes is available online, so suggest to your child that she get a head start by getting books a little early and reading a little ahead. That will mean more hanging out and a little less shocking work load the first week or so of school.
2. Create the space. Where is your child going to do this homework? Get that space ready with a cubby, desk, bulletin board, wall calendar, whatever makes sense to him.
3. Hit the library. Since carrying a heavy backpack can cause chronic pain, encourage your older child or teen to find an extra set of some textbooks to keep at home. Teachers often have extras available, or suggest your child search your local libraries.
4. Write a contract. If you have patterns you want to avoid this year about homework, be clear now. Decide what is up to your child (timing of work, space, music, etc) and what is nonnegotiable (completion, grades, etc). Link your requirements to privileges your child wants (cell phone, friend time, extracurricular, whatever fits your philosophy). Write it down!

The Problem: Extra-Curricular Activities

Joining a group or team, or taking a lesson can brighten a child’s week. But don’t get bogged down!

What You Can Do:

1. Honor your child’s interests and abilities. Let your child choose (within reason) the skill or activity she would most like to pursue. Kids don’t get much choice about classes, this is a great place to energize her to improve mood and fitness.
2.  Consider your family’s values. Be clear about the activities that are not acceptable to you, whether that is because of the activity itself or the time commitment away from family, or the commuting involved.
3.  Set ground rules for participation. Plan time for family dinner most nights, physical activity, and some downtime for mental health.

The Problem: Social Worries

All that stress that faded over the summer can come rushing back in when a child contemplates the first day of school. Talking and strategizing can help.

What You Can Do:

1. Don’t leave it all to chance. Often kids have no control over who will be in class together. But they can hang out with some friends (new or old) in the couple of weeks leading up to school so that first day doesn’t feel so much like jumping in.
2. Join a team or group. A unity of purpose or interest can help make new relationships a lot faster than standing with a lunch tray looking for somewhere to sit.
3. Role play. Not every tween or teen will do this, but it can be amazingly helpful to “know your lines” when confronted by someone who makes you really nervous.

The start of school is an exciting time. Remember that it can also be stressful, even for young children. Keep an eye out for major mood or attitude changes, or other signs of fatigue or stress. Ask open-ended questions of your child (and perhaps his teachers or school counselor) if you feel something may be going badly. Stay flexible as you navigate this transition!
Doctor G (Deborah Gilboa, MD) is a board certified Family Physician, Parenting Speaker and mother of four boys. As founder of AskDoctorG.com, an online resource for parents and educators working to raise respectful, responsible and resilient kids, she offers live seminars and free tools to groups of parents around the country. To learn more about her work and how it can empower you, please contact her, or find her on Twitter or Facebook!